My name is Armandine. Some people call me strong. Others have even called me “superwoman.” I’m not sure I agree with either title but I do know that life has taught me lessons I can’t unlearn. And maybe sharing them will save someone else a little time, a little heartbreak, or a little confusion.
Let’s start here: life goes on. No matter what you’re going through, no matter how heavy it feels, the world doesn’t stop. And as harsh as it sounds, you are not as important as you think you are. People aren’t thinking about you as often as you assume. They’re not analyzing your every move or refreshing your page to see what you posted. So honestly? Post what you want. Say what you want. Live how you want.
You will lose people. That part is unavoidable. Some will leave you behind. Some you’ll outgrow. Some you’ll have to cut off for your own peace. Some will cut you off. And sometimes it just happens without a clear reason. That doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human.
Here’s another truth I’ve come to accept: there’s no such thing as a “good man” in isolation. If someone is only good to you but treats everyone else poorly, don’t ignore that. Your turn will come. You are not the exception. His exes weren’t all “crazy.” Patterns don’t lie. But at the same time, you can make smarter choices. You can protect yourself.
And while we’re on relationships, this might not be for everyone, but it’s something I stand by, if you’re investing years into a relationship, ask yourself what you’re building. Not everyone wants marriage, and that’s valid. But understand the legal and emotional risks of longterm commitment without security. Know what you’re signing up for.
If you’ve started a business or you’re creating content, let me save you some disappointment, your target audience is not your friends or family. They might support you emotionally, but don’t expect them to show up consistently, share your work, or buy from you. I’ve learned this firsthand. The people I thought would champion me the loudest often stayed silent. Meanwhile, strangers became supporters. And that’s okay. Support doesn’t always come from where you expect it.
Also be careful who you depend on. If someone is feeding you, they can also starve you. Independence matters more than comfort.
If you’re ever faced with a choice between a relationship and a life changing opportunity, choose the opportunity. Don’t hesitate. Relationships come and go. Opportunities shape your future. Except of course if you’re engaged or married. Ooh btw, results may vary !
And here’s something people don’t talk about enough, your selfworth is yours. No one can give it to you, and no one can take it away unless you let them. Know when to leave. Know when you’re not valued. And when you’re not invited somewhere, don’t beg for a seat. Your time is too valuable for that.
Let’s talk about commitment. A child is a bigger, more permanent responsibility than marriage. Think carefully before making that decision. Be intentional. Be honest with yourself.
The good news? You can always start again. Life doesn’t end because something didn’t work out. But when you restart, do it wiser. Growth isn’t automatic. Aging is. Wisdom is a choice. So choose growth and wisdom!
Find things that fulfill you. Build a life that doesn’t rely on constant validation or availability. People take you for granted when you’re always there.
And remember, everything has a price. Even the good things. The question is, are you willing to pay it? Can you live with the consequences of your choices?
One last thing: sometimes, you are the problem. And that’s not an insult, it’s an opportunity. Because when you know better, you can do better. But don’t expect endless chances from others. Not everyone will give you one.
Have I followed all of this advice perfectly? Absolutely not. I’m still learning. Still growing. Still making mistakes.
So maybe don’t do as I do. But definitely consider doing as I say.
One day at a time 