Life Lately

Has it been a while? Yes it has. Hope you have been good? I have been navigating adulthood and motherhood. Two toughest hoods that have ever existed in the history of hoods….you know the usual

I recently had to turn down a good job offer. This job would have allowed me to break into a different career path. It equally would have been more money. The conditions surrounding the job weren’t what would have been best for my child. It was weekends, it was long hours, guaranteed overtime…..

I was really bummed out about it. I was desperate to break into a different career field. I ended up taking a different job. Same field, a little bit more hours….. although I was grateful for what I had, I felt very sad cause deep down I wanted the other opportunity to work out. However being a mum I guess there’s some sacrifices I still need to make if I want to stay being a present parent.

Friends have been great, the encouraging messages have been amazing. P.s. get you some friends who understand you even when you’re silent because they understand.

I didn’t necessarily feel sad cause I couldn’t take the job but it was the fact that it showed me that I was so far away from “freedom”, although I was closer to my dreams, it still felt so far away because these are the sacrifices I still had to make. Being the sole, present parent, there was no way I could take up a Job working 8am to 6pm, including weekends, without missing out on a lot about my child. I suppose I really cannot have it all. At least not at the moment.

It made me reflect on my motherhood experience and my fears surrounding my life and goals but that’s a different story entirely.

But in all things I try to remain still, which doesn’t always work out…. Funny enough a friend of mine recently asked me if I don’t break down….Baby I cry in my pillow when things get too tough for me to handle but you know I cry in bulk cause as an adult and a single mother I can’t afford to cry everyday so some of my crying gets bookmarked and when enough reasons have been collected then I cry in bulk.

Until a better opportunity arises for me and perhaps for you, I suggest reading psalm 46:10, remaining still and knowing that a better opportunity will definitely come. And by the way, please don’t ever let people who haven’t walked a day in your shoes, don’t let their opinions affect you because I catch myself doing that and trust me, it is not what you need in life.