Betrayal Trauma

Betrayal trauma is not something I wish on my worst enemy. You’re anxious most of the time. That effortless peace of mind is gone. The resentment almost never goes away. You cannot look at them without thinking of the hurt they caused you.

You lose all the respect you had for them. You question your self worth. But eventually you get over it. Your wounds heal, you don’t feel the constant depression anymore.

But the Love is not the same. The respect isn’t either because you’ve seen what they are capable of. The cracks unfortunately are only ignored and never forgotten…..

But on a random Tuesday it will hit you and you’ll get triggered again, you’ll bring it up the first few months perhaps. Eventually you won’t bring it up anymore, you’ll learn to get through your trigger a little better each time, you’ll learn to compartmentalize it better in your brain……..

Eventually you may even get better at pretending it never happened…..until that random Tuesday comes and you’re glaring at the cracks in your foundation and you realize the trust will never be effortless again…….and so the cycle continues…….