And some days I forget what it is to be gentle with myself- how to look at myself with kind eyes and speak to myself with soft words. Forget that i am my home and a temple worthy of worship.
Becca Lee
I guess I have to come to a point in my life, where I recognize that unlearning is the highest form of learning.
I believe the “learning” part is actually the easier part. Unlearning however, Not So Easy. So when starting the journey of unlearning patterns that you may have believed majority of your life, you just have to be kind and patient with yourself because that ish can be messy.
We have been conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves. we have been conditioned to believe that there may be a certain way to do certain things.
Women, for a very long time, were conditioned to believe that our self worth is tied to a man.
For a long time we believe certain things (about ourselves) that we may have learnt either from home or through experience.
If we are brave enough, we may just seek out the hidden knowledge that we’ve been conditioned to not believe. And that right there is the beginning of taking back power over your life because you uncover the seed of your authentic self.
So here are a few things I am unlearning in my journey:
I don’t always have to make my point! : Maybe it’s just me becoming more mature but I really do not have the energy to make my point anymore. A little it to a fault. Some people have already decided to misunderstand you anyways so why bother. I say OK and I keep it moving. What I am learning however, is how to set clear boundaries and stand firm on those boundaries ! That’s a form of self-care.
It’s ok for people to take 2-3 business days to get back to me. I used to hate this when I was younger but now I have become them ! Don’t judge, Adulthood is really hitting hard. What I am learning is that sometimes people are busy, sometimes people forget to text you. Sometimes people are just not in the right frame of mind to text you or call you back and that’s ok. We are adults and Adulthood is one of the most difficult hoods there is out there.
Just because I am a good person, doesn’t mean everyone will see my worth and do right by me. What I am learning however is that I am not for everyone and everyone isn’t for me. What’s most important is that I know myself and I don’t let other people determine my worth. I am learning to stand firm is what I believe myself to be. I am learning to believe in my ability to heal and get on with it no matter who chooses to stay and who chooses to leave. I am learning that I am whole by myself.
The process of unlearning a pattern that you’ve been accustomed to will not be easy. It will be messy because on some days you will fall right back into your old ways and you will have to call yourself out on your BS and get on the right track with the process and that’s ok. While you’re at it, chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.
One day at a time 