What did I do wrong??
This question pops up all the time. It seems to be the first things that comes to mind when things go south or when they just don’t go as planned. we are so quick to condemn ourselves, be harsh on ourselves.
I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across one Profil I follow and really like, @toeverymom, and she does this poll every Friday, asking mothers what they did right and she tells her followers what she did right.
I loved the idea because even I am very quick to list a bunch of things I could have done differently to get my desired outcome and so I gained inspiration from her poll and thought for week, I would share 5 things I did right this week.
- I came back to life. LMAO please I did not die. I cannot die and I will not die. I will live and declare the works of the Lord. Yes that is the African in me quoting Psalm 118:17. What i mean by that is, I have been hiding in my little shell for quite some weeks now. I didn’t check on people and avoided most of my incoming calls and messages. I do this when I feel overwhelmed (with emotions). When things become too much, I just shut down and only communicate when it’s inevitable. However, this week I got back to quite a few people. I picked calls and responded to messages. The returning calls is still not really working and to be honest, it’s not something I want to work on right now. Bad habit.
- I celebrated my son’s birthday. There was no party just him, his two little friends, some gifts, some balloons and a cake. But I celebrated him and while I was celebrating him, I also celebrated myself because I am doing this alone. I keep showing up even on days I don’t feel like. I hold it down even on days when I want to be taken care of. I took a trip down memory and it reminded me of my strength and perseverance. I was reminded that this period was nothing but a phase and this too shall pass.
- I hung out with my friends. This might not sound like a big deal but people who know me are very aware of my anti-social behavior. I am the queen of cancellation. Besides that, I had a very busy and short weekend, so I didn’t get much time for myself, so me not cancelling was a proud moment for me. I allowed myself to have fun and enjoy the company of my girls whom I hadn’t seen in a long time.
- Satan tried and failed. You know when you’re in your corner, trying to have an ok time and just overall minding your own business and the devil is thinking hmm this child has had quite a bit of peaceful time, let me send her a little sum sum. Well, he actually tried it. He sent one of his minions to test me and he failed. utterly. I did not allow anything to invade my peace of mind because my peace of mind is just priceless. I didn’t let that little moment of anger or negativity linger for too long because there’s no room for that here.
- I listened to some Praise and Worship. God and I have not been on good terms lately. Mainly because I grew impatient and was being ungrateful. I am human, I will be ignorant sometimes. I have not attended Bible study session in weeks. I find it hard to open my Bible and study the word. Listening to some gospel may not be a huge step but it’s a small step in the right direction and that’s what matters.
I don’t know why we are always in the habit of focusing on the negative thoughts, the negative actions, what’s going wrong in our lives. Let’s often challenge ourselves to change the lenses with which we see life and shift our focus to the things that are going right, use that as motivation to work on the things that are not so right because no condition is permanent. I sound like such a hypocrite but hey this is a challenge, even for me.
So, I challenge you to write down 5 things that you did right this week and every once in a while I will write about what I did right. Now chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.
One day at a time 