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I met someone

You know that relationship after a breakup, you are unsure because it seems like everything is too good to b e true? Well, I think I met someone. Would it be too forward to say I love him

He makes me really happy and I haven’t been really happy in what? A year maybe…….

S.I.K.E !! You thought I will tell you the full story (It’s unfortunate you can’t see me but I have my devilish smile on)

But hey, my love life is not up for discussion today. Until then here a few reminders for those of you out there who want to get back on the dating scene.

  1. PRIORITISE YOURSELF!!!!

Focus more on yourself and your needs. We tend to wonder too much about the other person. Whether or not they like us, we wonder if we’re good enough for them. Do they like the way we dress, eat etc. Switch up the narrative. Ask yourself if they are good enough for you. Do you even like them or are you too preoccupied with trying to impress them. Do you have fun with them?

2. Know What You Want But Be Realistic.

When you don’t know what you want, you will end up attracting all sorts of people. Confused people, lost people, abusive people, name it. And in the end, they end up pouring their negative energy into your cup and you get pulled back into some really dark place that you may have left behind.

Nobody has it all figured out, including you. Be realistic about what you want brought to the table. Be realistic about your “checklist” because one thing is certain, nobody will ever tick that checklist 100%. So, make sure you are aware of what is and is not negotiable. Take people as they are and not what you think they could be. Lastly, be realistic about what you are bringing to the table. What we are not trying to do is be hypocrites. It’s a give and take after all, you can’t just be receiving.

3. Rejection Is Not So Personal.

Ok I am not a fan of ghosting because I believe people should just say what they feel and say it with their full chest. Few people have the decency to express their lack of interest, but most people don’t, and when this happens, baby don’t take it personal. It most likely has nothing to do with you as a person. People lose interest in people every day, hell you might lose interest in someone, and it wouldn’t be personal. Moral of the story is: Your worth does not diminish just because one person was not or lost interest in you.

4. Be Honest.

This is self-explanatory. Be honest with yourself and with the other person. Be honest about your feelings and intentions. Feelings change and when they do, make sure to communicate them. Know when to hold on, know when to leave. Don’t be afraid to start over.

If the other person is giving you hints, take them hints, don’t force yourself on people, there is so many fish in the sea. Tell yourself the gospel truth and move on.

5. Be Patient.

Also, very self-explanatory. Nothing good comes easy.

How does the saying go: what comes easy won’t last and what lasts won’t come easy. There’s no need to rush, that’s when you settle for just anyone and make long term mistakes that may cost you a lot of pain and heartbreak. Be patient, take your time. Get to know people for who they are. Get to know yourself for who you are with those people.

Whilst you’re dating, don’t forget to pray, read your bible, and put whoever you are dating in prayer because the devil may just send you one of his disciples disguised in everything that you want. Now chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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Girls Talk

I feel like it’s been such a while…. I hope everyone is doing great. I am ok. Not. These past two weeks have been terrible. I was not under pressure from school or anything. Ok I always am but that’s not the reason these past two weeks have been terrible. I was just really down. Something happened and it just took all my energy. But anyways let us talk about something light this time.

I met with my girls over the weekend, and we don’t get to do that all the time because two of the girls live further away, one was busy with exams, and everyone just generally trying to get through this scam called adulthood.

Meeting with my friends is always therapeutic. We hardly get the time to meet but whenever we do, it reminds me that having a good circle of friends is important because we all can’t get through life alone. We need people. And these girls have been there for me sand have always come through for me no matter what.

Anyways one of the topics that came up is of course relationship and men. So, Five of us, three with man and two with no man and of course those with man complain about their men and those without man complain that they cant find man. Not that anyone is actively looking for man, but it always seems like what we want, even those with man, is too much these days.

I am talking simple loyalty, a god fearing man, sprinkle a tiny weeny bit of romance in there, the right kind of love language. And don’t get wrong, even men be looking for “good women” these days and they don’t seem to find them, so the question came up: Where do these Instagram couples meet each other. Where do people meet these days.

It’s like men don’t know how to talk to girls these days because I cringe a lot when I see certain things. Men complain that women don’t treat them well and their efforts are taken for granted. So where does a good man meet a good woman and vice versa. It really can’t be that difficult right? Help a sister out. That ladies and gentlemen was the question of our day.

By the end of the evening, I learnt that love language is of utmost importance. Just because you say you love someone; does not mean they feel loved. We have to find the right balance between loving people the way we know and loving them the way they also would understand.

I learnt that it is ok to be happy and content on your own but also crave romantic intimacy with your own personal person. Not everyone who wants a romantic partner is lonely. I know from experience that having your own personal somebody where you feel 100% comfortable is an amazing feeling. The gossips, the inside jokes, everything.

I learnt that just because people are together doesn’t mean they are happy. But we are not ready to have that conversation. Forget that “aww they’ve been together for so long”. It’s a scam. I know quite a few relationships like this.

I learnt that what works for couple A mustn’t work for couple B. Please do you.

I learnt that it is not always the men. Sometimes women are trash !

I don’t know how many of you are having the same “issues” as my friends and I. We really cannot be the only ones who want to meet people but hardly go out and out put ourselves out there.  Don’t be like us if you want to find love. Go out and meet people and if youre like us, well may God help us.

At the end of the day, we all shall be fine. Must be fine. Until you meet your future Mr(S) perfect, Chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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To love and be loved

Have you ever experienced love in its pure form? That deep unconditional love. That love that chooses you over and over again, everyday without fail, no matter what? I love Love. Being loved by the right person is such a huge blessing I believe everyone should experience in their lifetime. I love romance, I love to see people being healthily in love with their significant other, I catch myself wishing my love life was like that Instagram couple even though i am aware that i do not know what their lives actually is like. I just love love.

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Random Thoughts

I had this whole topic planned, talking about success and what it meant to me, to us…..but that will have to wait. As much as I encourage you to be happy, celebrate yourself and your little milestones and taking it one day at a time, I am just human myself and I have bad days…..I suppose this is one of them so I will just share what is on my mind.