Tag: hope

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The Whisper of God in Ordinary Life

It didn’t happen in church. It didn’t come through a sermon. It was not the big life changing prayer or the dramatic breakthrough moment. Although I equally find God in these big moments, but most times I find him in the smaller things.

I find him in the way the sunlight hits the mirror as I stand looking at myself, hands in warm water, washing my face before bed. Because there was a time I couldn’t imagine having all that I have today.

I feel him in the silence after a long day when the world finally gets quiet. I feel him in the tiny hand reaching for my face every morning. I find him in the unexpected laughter, in the deep exhale after making it through another Monday.

I used to think Faith was this big, powerful, all consuming fire that would show up and light my life in command. But recently, I’ve learned that God doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, He whispers. And those whispers show up in small, sacred moments we rush past. We just have to listen.

Like folding laundry with a heart of gratitude instead of resentment. Or finally sitting down with my journal and being honest with myself. Or talking to him out loud while I drive – just rambling. No structure, no filter, just some real conversation. That too is faith.

It’s not just in the bible studies or the perfect devotional. It’s in the way I choose peace over panic. The way I believe something bigger and better is coming even when everything in me wants to spiral. You know, just like it says in Jeremiah 29:11.

God isn’t just in holy places. He’s in that hallway. In the kitchen. In the mess. In the routine. He’s in our laughter. In our tears. In our quiet life that doesn’t always look instagram-worthy but is still deeply, intentionally, divinely held. He is everywhere we want him to be. That’s why he’s omnipresent.

Faith, for me, isn’t just about the mountain. It’s equally about the walks. the little steps. The ordinary grace.

And if I slow down enough to notice, I see him everywhere. Even here. Even now.

What does Faith mean to you?

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Lessons from Love: Embracing Self-Discovery and Growth

There was a time when I thought love was about holding on and holding down. Clutching tightly, even when my fingers were sore. Even when the rope burned and it unraveled me.

He was not all bad. In fact he was – he is a good man. He made me laugh. He knew how I liked my food. He knew I liked quiet mornings…. He knew me well enough– Atleast I’d like to think so.

But I guess, love isn’t enough. Not when it’s uneven. Not when you forget your own name while trying to fit into somebody else’s story. This is not a bitter blog post. This is not about dragging a man’s name through the mud – I would never do that. It is not about blame, shame or receipts. Its about choosing myself, finally, and not feeling guilty about it.

There were moments I thought leaving would break me. That i’d drown in quiet evenings and empty beds. And honestly, it did break me and I sometimes still drown in quiet evenings and empty beds.

However, what really broke me was staying too long in rooms that didn’t know how to hold me. Where I shrank myself into something smaller, quieter, easier to love.

And still, I do not hate him. He was a chapter. A very multi faceted chapter. Not the whole book. He was a lesson, not a life sentence.

I am learning to love the version of me that love(d) him while still loving the version of me that had to walk away. That Woman – I admire her. She is brave. She is rising and she has stood on business ever since.

And yet, I don’t wish him pain. I hope he grows. I pray he gets everything that his heart desires. I hope he finds joy and love. Because Me? I’m over here finding myself again. Learning to dance in my own skin. Learning to be comfortable in this uncomfortable silence. Learning to choose myself even when it means disappointing others. Learning to validate my feelings. Learning accountability because I too was not perfect. Learning to be comfortable in this discomfort and just take it one day at a time.

I don’t hate the man that I spent years with. But I love me more. And that’s the whole truth. That’s the freedom. That’s the poem. The goal is to be my own muse and I believe the rest will follow.

Does this mean I have given up on love? – I could never. But I guess the fairy tale has not been in the cards for me yet. I hope I find it someday. But until then, I’ll be here, loving myself through any and every uncomfortable phase life throws at me.

There was a time when I thought love was about holding on and holding down. Clutching tightly even my fingers were sore. But now I know , real love doesn’t ask you to lose yourself to keep it. Real love considers. Real love sees. Real love hears. Just like the saying goes – To be loved is to be known. Real love is service.

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My Prayer: Proverbs 31

I was speaking to an old friend who was asking about my dating life. Then the question came up, what kind of man are you looking for this time. My answer, short and simple: A Godly Man!

A few weeks ago, at bible studies, we spoke about relationships/courtships and what’s written in the bible about it. Before that session if you had asked me what I was looking for in a man, I would probably say a good man, kind, loving, a born-again Christian. It would have been a list.

That session however, made me realize that a “good man” simply won’t cut it! Yes, I said it. A good man is just not good enough. Allow me to explain.

Up until last year even, I would have called myself a good woman and therefore, a good man would have been enough. But I’ve come to the realization that I don’t want to be a good woman anymore. It’s just not enough.

I want to be a great woman. I want to be a phenomenal woman. I want to make things happen and what better way to do all those things than to just work towards becoming a godly woman. A Proverbs 31 woman.

A godly woman deserves a godly man. A man filled with the fruit of the spirit. For those who aren’t familiar with it, go read Galatians 5:22. The passage says the fruit of the IS! not the fruit of the spirit ARE. But it uses a singular term which means that a godly man/woman must have all those qualities!

Someone once said to me that I didn’t possess the characteristics of a woman. Soft, meek, nurturing, SUBMISSIVE etc.

Since I started my journey of self-discovery and self-betterment, I have realized that, that statement was totally wrong. Yes, I am a woman of strong character and I have very strong opinions and I can acknowledge the fact that it may come across as arrogance (which I am working on) but one thing is for sure I can never in this life submit to a man without a vision and a mission. Come and beat me. I said it.

I can never submit to wasted potential! I can never submit to a man who’s not striving for greatness! I can never submit to a man, who does not want to be a husband! (There’s a huge difference between a man seeking for a wife and a man who actually wants to be a husband).

I can go on and on about the qualities of a godly man but then again, a godly man also deserves a godly woman.

So recently my prayer points have changed, and they have become about myself!

I pray that God makes me teachable and submissive.

Like Ruth, I pray he makes me hard-working.

Like Esther, I pray he makes me brave and courageous.

Like Rachel, I pray he makes me patient.

Like Hannah and Mary Magdalene, I pray he makes me faithful to his word.

Like Deborah, I pray he makes me a great and compassionate leader.

Above all, I pray to become a Proverbs 31 woman!

My prayer points have become about myself because I cannot demand for a man that I am not prepared for. God will not shower you with blessings when you are not ready to receive them, so I have to be prepared.

Lastly, my prayers are about myself because a godly man knows he also has work to do, which he will, and it will be between himself and God!

While you’re working on becoming a godly (wo)man, don’t forget to chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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I met someone

You know that relationship after a breakup, you are unsure because it seems like everything is too good to b e true? Well, I think I met someone. Would it be too forward to say I love him

He makes me really happy and I haven’t been really happy in what? A year maybe…….

S.I.K.E !! You thought I will tell you the full story (It’s unfortunate you can’t see me but I have my devilish smile on)

But hey, my love life is not up for discussion today. Until then here a few reminders for those of you out there who want to get back on the dating scene.

  1. PRIORITISE YOURSELF!!!!

Focus more on yourself and your needs. We tend to wonder too much about the other person. Whether or not they like us, we wonder if we’re good enough for them. Do they like the way we dress, eat etc. Switch up the narrative. Ask yourself if they are good enough for you. Do you even like them or are you too preoccupied with trying to impress them. Do you have fun with them?

2. Know What You Want But Be Realistic.

When you don’t know what you want, you will end up attracting all sorts of people. Confused people, lost people, abusive people, name it. And in the end, they end up pouring their negative energy into your cup and you get pulled back into some really dark place that you may have left behind.

Nobody has it all figured out, including you. Be realistic about what you want brought to the table. Be realistic about your “checklist” because one thing is certain, nobody will ever tick that checklist 100%. So, make sure you are aware of what is and is not negotiable. Take people as they are and not what you think they could be. Lastly, be realistic about what you are bringing to the table. What we are not trying to do is be hypocrites. It’s a give and take after all, you can’t just be receiving.

3. Rejection Is Not So Personal.

Ok I am not a fan of ghosting because I believe people should just say what they feel and say it with their full chest. Few people have the decency to express their lack of interest, but most people don’t, and when this happens, baby don’t take it personal. It most likely has nothing to do with you as a person. People lose interest in people every day, hell you might lose interest in someone, and it wouldn’t be personal. Moral of the story is: Your worth does not diminish just because one person was not or lost interest in you.

4. Be Honest.

This is self-explanatory. Be honest with yourself and with the other person. Be honest about your feelings and intentions. Feelings change and when they do, make sure to communicate them. Know when to hold on, know when to leave. Don’t be afraid to start over.

If the other person is giving you hints, take them hints, don’t force yourself on people, there is so many fish in the sea. Tell yourself the gospel truth and move on.

5. Be Patient.

Also, very self-explanatory. Nothing good comes easy.

How does the saying go: what comes easy won’t last and what lasts won’t come easy. There’s no need to rush, that’s when you settle for just anyone and make long term mistakes that may cost you a lot of pain and heartbreak. Be patient, take your time. Get to know people for who they are. Get to know yourself for who you are with those people.

Whilst you’re dating, don’t forget to pray, read your bible, and put whoever you are dating in prayer because the devil may just send you one of his disciples disguised in everything that you want. Now chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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shattered

Hello, my lovelies, I hope you guys are all well. It has been such a long time, ok two weeks but it feels like forever. I had exams, two presentations and I still have two term papers to submit sooo, you can imagine how stressful the last few weeks have been. Let’s not forget the toddler who needs my undivided attention every day. But I am back now, and I hope it stays that way.

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Wait your turn

You know the saying that goes “patience is a virtue”, yes, a virtue that most of us lack. We often perceive waiting as a bad thing. Well, I am here to tell you that waiting is in fact a good thing. We are so quick to give up or get discouraged when things do not go our way. I do not know about you guys, but I tend to question God, “God why me?” You cannot even begin to imagine how many times I have gone on my knees, how many times I have laid in bed, holding my son tight, shaking, and questioning God, trying to seek answers. Desperately in need for him to say something. Even if it is just a reassurance that everything will eventually make sense. But hey God´s ways are not our ways right.  

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