Heeey my lovelies, I feel like it’s been forever! I just haven’t been inspired lately plus I’ve had a crappy week. I hope you guys are doing better than I am. I literally cried myself to sleep last night. Yes, that is how bad it is.
Mind you I never cry for one reason; it was all my feelings that I had been bottling in that got triggered by one thing and then everything just comes out.
But my friend and I had this very interesting discussion about relationships because when is someone not going through relationship stuff right!?
How many times does one have to forgive (the same) behavior before deciding to stay or let go?
How many times do we have to have a conversation about the same things before deciding that the relationship is not improving?
At what point does a relationship become toxic?
Is there an exact moment for these things?
In my course of dating, I have been lied to, I have lied, I have rejected, and I have been rejected, I even caught a guy that I liked sexting with his ex. The whole inappropriate texting was not the first time that had happened to me, and it made me so paranoid.
Point of correction, I have trust issues! When it happened to me the first time, I didn’t let go, I had developed the “he didn’t sleep with her” mentality (at least as far I knew of, he hadn’t slept with her/them yet).
When it happened again, the sexting itself was minor comparing to what really hurt me. It was someone we had extensive conversations about, someone “who didn’t mean anything”, as human beings like to say,
I could actually go and on about this matter because I have the ability to put myself back in a situation and feel everything again but we move.
Now sometimes I find myself wondering if I have become a toxic partner. I wonder if I project my fears and insecurities on to people who probably don’t deserve it. I guarantee you that I have not always been like this but it seems pain changes some things about you.
But why can’t human beings just be faithful tho……. Ok now I’m drifting from my initial thought
Back to my initial thought, we see so many couples who have been together for years and yet they are so unhappy, African parents are prime example, most of us kids boast of how our grandparents and parents were married for 30+ years and we also saw how unhappy they were, we saw how grandpa and daddy had 5 other concubines outside, suddenly mummy is raising a child that isn’t hers. A lot of the men from generations before us were physically and emotionally abusive, yet we label them “strong”.
So, I ask again, when do you hold on and when do you let go?
I’ve always admired people who have worked on their relationship and came back stronger, it doesn’t matter what threw them off course, but does it mean that the one who decided to let took the easy way out?
I find it interesting that most romantic relationship issues are mostly internal. The weapon fashioning against most relationships is always at least one person in the relationship.
Someone is either lying, cheating, not communicating effectively, not listening, texting other people, hiding their partner, not giving enough attention and so many other things. Can we just love each other and let the weapon fashioning against us actually come from outside and not from within?
Oh well I wish us all luck out here because its not easy. Don’t go creating fake scenarios and hurt your feelings (I am the queen of this).
Oooooh if you thought I had an answer to the above-mentioned questions, sorry I don’t. I just wing it myself. Hell, I’ve been cheated on when I should have seen the signs so if you have any Tipps for me, let a sis know.
Until we all find our soulmates in this life, we chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.
One day at a time 