feelings – One day at a time

Sunday confessions: Somebody’s son has found me

I woke up this morning, happy. The birds chirping. The morning feeling of soft, cool breeze as I step outside.

My boyfriend had made breakfast, pancakes, eggs and some orange juice. It was peaceful. I hadn’t felt this level of peace in a long time.

He ran me a bath, left me cute little notes around the house so I could find during the day (it was a tough week) and went about his day.

As I take my bath, I am completely amazed at how well this man treats me. He listens to me, he encourages me, he supports me, he has no problems providing and protecting, he’s romantic, he’s thoughtful.

He doesn’t pressurize me into things I don’t want to do. He prays for me, he prays with me, he loves me, he’s a good man but above all, he’s a godly man.

I never thought a day like this would come, when a man would love me unconditionally for who I am. A man with whom I could let lose, a man who understands me. My guard was down. I had no problems being submissive to this man. A man who brought me nothing but peace of mind. A man I trusted.

I finished taking my bath and decided to make him food. I made his favorite meal. Shopped for his favorite beverages and snacks. I wanted to spoil him just as he thought of spoiling me that morning.

I set the table and my phone rings……

Lo and behold it’s my alarm. It was all a dream. Disappointed, I get out of bed and play somebody’s son by Tiwa savage as I proceed to sing “somebody son go find me one day” at the top of my voice while I chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

Birthday Post

I woke up a few days ago and I felt very sad. I’m grateful for the new age and I’ve definitely come a long way since last year. It’s been a lot of growth, accountability, tears, everything you can think of. And yes, sometimes I still fall short but I’m definitely not where I was a year ago.

I woke up feeling sad because I missed the little girl who always got a new outfit and a party every year. My mum used to throw me a party every year.

As soon as the clock hit midnight, she would her hands on my head, pray for me then anoint my head with anointing oil. I miss those days.

I miss being a kid without responsibilities.

I miss being a daughter. I miss my mother.

I miss her hugs. And Yes, we talk over the phone but it will never be the same.

Her level of effort on my birthdays was unmatched. I don’t know how she did it but she always came through and that’s what I miss.

I look back at these last years and all the battles, some of which I’ve lost, through all my tears, I just wish she could hold my hand through it all.

In as much as I miss all these things, it is my birthday after all, and I am still grateful.

I am grateful for life. For family, for friends, for everything that I have while working on the things I want to achieve.

I am grateful because I am living in one of my prayers while God is working on the next miracle at his own time.

I am grateful for what has gone my way and for the things that didn’t go my way.

I am grateful for growth. And I hope someone throws me a surprise party. (A girl can dream right). Now don’t forget to chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.