Tag: faith

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The Whisper of God in Ordinary Life

It didn’t happen in church. It didn’t come through a sermon. It was not the big life changing prayer or the dramatic breakthrough moment. Although I equally find God in these big moments, but most times I find him in the smaller things.

I find him in the way the sunlight hits the mirror as I stand looking at myself, hands in warm water, washing my face before bed. Because there was a time I couldn’t imagine having all that I have today.

I feel him in the silence after a long day when the world finally gets quiet. I feel him in the tiny hand reaching for my face every morning. I find him in the unexpected laughter, in the deep exhale after making it through another Monday.

I used to think Faith was this big, powerful, all consuming fire that would show up and light my life in command. But recently, I’ve learned that God doesn’t always roar. Sometimes, He whispers. And those whispers show up in small, sacred moments we rush past. We just have to listen.

Like folding laundry with a heart of gratitude instead of resentment. Or finally sitting down with my journal and being honest with myself. Or talking to him out loud while I drive – just rambling. No structure, no filter, just some real conversation. That too is faith.

It’s not just in the bible studies or the perfect devotional. It’s in the way I choose peace over panic. The way I believe something bigger and better is coming even when everything in me wants to spiral. You know, just like it says in Jeremiah 29:11.

God isn’t just in holy places. He’s in that hallway. In the kitchen. In the mess. In the routine. He’s in our laughter. In our tears. In our quiet life that doesn’t always look instagram-worthy but is still deeply, intentionally, divinely held. He is everywhere we want him to be. That’s why he’s omnipresent.

Faith, for me, isn’t just about the mountain. It’s equally about the walks. the little steps. The ordinary grace.

And if I slow down enough to notice, I see him everywhere. Even here. Even now.

What does Faith mean to you?

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Motherhood part 2

I had a good cry last night. I don’t mean a tear was rolling down my cheeks, nah I mean bawling my eyes out. My son turned 4. A whole 48 months in this world. What can I say….my heart is heavy with memories and emotions.

Emotions I wish I could let out occasionally, but instead they stay built up because maybe there’s nobody to talk to, maybe there’s nobody who ’il understand, maybe everyone is busy, maybe I’m also just too emotional, a lot of maybes…the point is, these emotions build up over time until something happens, whether good or bad, that makes me reach this breaking point.

Single motherhood, I’m saying motherhood because I’m not a dad, I don’t know what single fathers feel,

However single motherhood can get lonely sometimes. Whether you chose it, or it chose you, at some point, especially if you’re like me and don’t have real support from family,

You will reach that breaking point more times than you may want to admit.

Some days are better and all it takes is me hiding in the toilet for a few minutes and some days are like this, where I question my entire motherhood journey and wonder if I’m even doing enough…

I mean I know its all in my head and I know I can’t do more than my best, which I believe I am, but there’s still that part of me that wants to do offer him so much more. I am also very aware that most of the things I stress about are material things, but I can’t help but stress about them

I wish I could have been able to give him a lavish birthday, now does he need it, probably not

These complexities have more to do with me than him. I wonder if people see me as a mediocre mother because I’m not financially stable and I don’t want that

I don’t want him growing up lacking anything at all….

My insecurities, complexities and struggle have a lot to do with me navigating between being a good mother, a good student, wanting to not just offer my kid a better life but also myself, (a girl’s got expensive taste ok!).

I don’t know what someone else may be struggling with but at the end we all must believe that in the end everything will work out for our good. Is it a business, is It money, are you battling with your mental health…whatever it is, I urge you not to give up. As long as you’re doing your best, everything else will eventually fall into place.

One may wonder why I do these obvious reminders…that is because no matter what someone may feel, you’re never alone

Someone else is feeling the same way or even worse and I speak from experience when I say, that sometimes hearing these reassurances said out loud by someone else goes a long way

So here you go… these reminders are for all of us.

  1. You are doing great
  2. You are not alone
  3. You should be proud of yourself for surviving all your bad days
  4. I cannot say this enough, but you are enough!
  5. Don’t forget to pray.

Now chin up and continue reading Isaiah 41:10.

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It’s ok to expect certain things from certain people.

“Nobody owes to anything”- I call BS on that. This useless mentality that you don’t owe nobody anything destroys a lot of good things.

Bare in my mind, this is just my opinion so if you do not agree, well opinions are like assholes, we all have them.

I believe that certain decisions come with baggage that you just must fulfill. Yes, to some extent, we all don’t owe anybody anything but how tragic would life be if we all lived by this mentality.

It is ok to expect certain things from certain people. The keyword here is “certain things from certain people”, please not from everybody because some people constantly disappoint. I call them career disappointers. Plus, there are certain things you just can’t expect from e.g. strangers or people who aren’t really close to you.

If someone decides its time for them to settle down, get married or whatever, your partner is allowed to expect things from you and you my friend should be able to deliver at least the basic things. Like loyalty/faithfulness, trust, commitment, communication etc. These are certain things that automatically come with the decision of wanting to settle down with one person and have a committed relationship.

If someone decides to keep a child and raise, you as a parent owe that child everything it needs to grow until the child gets to a certain age where he/she can fend for themselves. Its doesn’t always go without saying that things are going to be easy but the least you can do is try and do your best.

You owe any kind of relationship, that’s important to you, nurturing. You owe it to your friends to be there for them. Your friends should expect you to be there for them because if that relationship is not serving its purpose, then what’s the point?

Every relationship is a give and take. In a fair world, what you put in, is what you get out.

However, know the people you are expecting things from. I have certain that I’ve stopped calling when I need something urgently. Yes, I get disappointed when I feel the need to talk or share something heavy and I call and they don’t pick (especially because these are people who always have their phones in their hands and always like stuff on Instagram in 0.2 seconds but whenever I call, they coincidentally never pick) and that’s ok, at least I have learnt to shift my expectations to somewhere else. I know exactly who I can call when I need something in 0.2 seconds.

Yes, it is true, you get disappointed when you expect things from people. And its ok for people to disappoint. We are human beings after all. Sometimes we need time to ourselves but when they constantly disappoint you in a certain department then maybe its time to shift focus or address the issue, if it hasn’t been addressed before?

Point is, a healthy amount of expectation is ok to have in any form of relationship. Just don’t expect (too much) from the wrong people. Now, chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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Don’t be stingy with your support

I’ve had this conversation with multiple people and no matter how many times we talk about this topic, we shall never make headway.

Why is it so difficult for friends and family to support you?

I started my Blog in December and to be honest, I am positively overwhelmed by the amount of love and feedback I have gotten so far. However, most of the love and feedback and ACTIVE support does not come from the people closest to me.

My friends read it and sometimes when they feel like it, a few friends share posts they like. I am not going to sit here and make it seem as if I haven’t had support from my friends, but you know the support that you need for something to blow up or for a business to succeed or whatever, yeah no. its not that kind of support.

I’ve always wondered the reason behind the discrepancy between them telling you they support you, and them actually showing you the support when you need it.

Is it jealousy? Envy? Competition? Because some of your closest folks are turn out to be your biggest haters.

Whatever the reason may be, I believe familiarity plays an immense role in this. We tend to take those around us for granted because we know them. We see them all the time. We have access to them. Whether conscious or unconsciously we just tend to take our loved ones for granted.

Any time I do a poll on Instagram most of the people that respond and engage are people that aren’t close to me. Most of the feedback I get are from people who I never thought would even read my blog but my closest are all legally blind when it comes to engagement.

See my advice is this, just do you honey. Because if you wait for friends and family to support you, thou shall only be hearing crickets……

Can you hear that…….. PURE CRICKETS! So, start that business, take that course, write that book, take that exam, apply for that job, take that calculated risk that you’ve been yearning to take because if you wait for somebody to support you, sorry to break it to you love, but the most support you’re going to get will most likely be from a stranger.

And you have to start somewhere for that stranger to see your work, right?

So, I leave you with this, support your friends’ businesses, don’t be an egoistic supporter. Don’t be an undercover hater. You supporting others, doesn’t diminish your own business ventures. Don’t just let them know you support them, show them by supporting in any way that you can. Supports come in different ways, so if you can’t spend coins, just support however else you can. Myself included.

And if you ever find yourself becoming envious and jealous of other people because they are excelling, kindly put your hand on your heart and say “Father forgive me, for I am witch/wizard”. Now chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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Birthday Post

I woke up a few days ago and I felt very sad. I’m grateful for the new age and I’ve definitely come a long way since last year. It’s been a lot of growth, accountability, tears, everything you can think of. And yes, sometimes I still fall short but I’m definitely not where I was a year ago.

I woke up feeling sad because I missed the little girl who always got a new outfit and a party every year. My mum used to throw me a party every year.

As soon as the clock hit midnight, she would her hands on my head, pray for me then anoint my head with anointing oil. I miss those days.

I miss being a kid without responsibilities.

I miss being a daughter. I miss my mother.

I miss her hugs. And Yes, we talk over the phone but it will never be the same.

Her level of effort on my birthdays was unmatched. I don’t know how she did it but she always came through and that’s what I miss.

I look back at these last years and all the battles, some of which I’ve lost, through all my tears, I just wish she could hold my hand through it all.

In as much as I miss all these things, it is my birthday after all, and I am still grateful.

I am grateful for life. For family, for friends, for everything that I have while working on the things I want to achieve.

I am grateful because I am living in one of my prayers while God is working on the next miracle at his own time.

I am grateful for what has gone my way and for the things that didn’t go my way.

I am grateful for growth. And I hope someone throws me a surprise party. (A girl can dream right). Now don’t forget to chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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My Prayer: Proverbs 31

I was speaking to an old friend who was asking about my dating life. Then the question came up, what kind of man are you looking for this time. My answer, short and simple: A Godly Man!

A few weeks ago, at bible studies, we spoke about relationships/courtships and what’s written in the bible about it. Before that session if you had asked me what I was looking for in a man, I would probably say a good man, kind, loving, a born-again Christian. It would have been a list.

That session however, made me realize that a “good man” simply won’t cut it! Yes, I said it. A good man is just not good enough. Allow me to explain.

Up until last year even, I would have called myself a good woman and therefore, a good man would have been enough. But I’ve come to the realization that I don’t want to be a good woman anymore. It’s just not enough.

I want to be a great woman. I want to be a phenomenal woman. I want to make things happen and what better way to do all those things than to just work towards becoming a godly woman. A Proverbs 31 woman.

A godly woman deserves a godly man. A man filled with the fruit of the spirit. For those who aren’t familiar with it, go read Galatians 5:22. The passage says the fruit of the IS! not the fruit of the spirit ARE. But it uses a singular term which means that a godly man/woman must have all those qualities!

Someone once said to me that I didn’t possess the characteristics of a woman. Soft, meek, nurturing, SUBMISSIVE etc.

Since I started my journey of self-discovery and self-betterment, I have realized that, that statement was totally wrong. Yes, I am a woman of strong character and I have very strong opinions and I can acknowledge the fact that it may come across as arrogance (which I am working on) but one thing is for sure I can never in this life submit to a man without a vision and a mission. Come and beat me. I said it.

I can never submit to wasted potential! I can never submit to a man who’s not striving for greatness! I can never submit to a man, who does not want to be a husband! (There’s a huge difference between a man seeking for a wife and a man who actually wants to be a husband).

I can go on and on about the qualities of a godly man but then again, a godly man also deserves a godly woman.

So recently my prayer points have changed, and they have become about myself!

I pray that God makes me teachable and submissive.

Like Ruth, I pray he makes me hard-working.

Like Esther, I pray he makes me brave and courageous.

Like Rachel, I pray he makes me patient.

Like Hannah and Mary Magdalene, I pray he makes me faithful to his word.

Like Deborah, I pray he makes me a great and compassionate leader.

Above all, I pray to become a Proverbs 31 woman!

My prayer points have become about myself because I cannot demand for a man that I am not prepared for. God will not shower you with blessings when you are not ready to receive them, so I have to be prepared.

Lastly, my prayers are about myself because a godly man knows he also has work to do, which he will, and it will be between himself and God!

While you’re working on becoming a godly (wo)man, don’t forget to chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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I met someone

You know that relationship after a breakup, you are unsure because it seems like everything is too good to b e true? Well, I think I met someone. Would it be too forward to say I love him

He makes me really happy and I haven’t been really happy in what? A year maybe…….

S.I.K.E !! You thought I will tell you the full story (It’s unfortunate you can’t see me but I have my devilish smile on)

But hey, my love life is not up for discussion today. Until then here a few reminders for those of you out there who want to get back on the dating scene.

  1. PRIORITISE YOURSELF!!!!

Focus more on yourself and your needs. We tend to wonder too much about the other person. Whether or not they like us, we wonder if we’re good enough for them. Do they like the way we dress, eat etc. Switch up the narrative. Ask yourself if they are good enough for you. Do you even like them or are you too preoccupied with trying to impress them. Do you have fun with them?

2. Know What You Want But Be Realistic.

When you don’t know what you want, you will end up attracting all sorts of people. Confused people, lost people, abusive people, name it. And in the end, they end up pouring their negative energy into your cup and you get pulled back into some really dark place that you may have left behind.

Nobody has it all figured out, including you. Be realistic about what you want brought to the table. Be realistic about your “checklist” because one thing is certain, nobody will ever tick that checklist 100%. So, make sure you are aware of what is and is not negotiable. Take people as they are and not what you think they could be. Lastly, be realistic about what you are bringing to the table. What we are not trying to do is be hypocrites. It’s a give and take after all, you can’t just be receiving.

3. Rejection Is Not So Personal.

Ok I am not a fan of ghosting because I believe people should just say what they feel and say it with their full chest. Few people have the decency to express their lack of interest, but most people don’t, and when this happens, baby don’t take it personal. It most likely has nothing to do with you as a person. People lose interest in people every day, hell you might lose interest in someone, and it wouldn’t be personal. Moral of the story is: Your worth does not diminish just because one person was not or lost interest in you.

4. Be Honest.

This is self-explanatory. Be honest with yourself and with the other person. Be honest about your feelings and intentions. Feelings change and when they do, make sure to communicate them. Know when to hold on, know when to leave. Don’t be afraid to start over.

If the other person is giving you hints, take them hints, don’t force yourself on people, there is so many fish in the sea. Tell yourself the gospel truth and move on.

5. Be Patient.

Also, very self-explanatory. Nothing good comes easy.

How does the saying go: what comes easy won’t last and what lasts won’t come easy. There’s no need to rush, that’s when you settle for just anyone and make long term mistakes that may cost you a lot of pain and heartbreak. Be patient, take your time. Get to know people for who they are. Get to know yourself for who you are with those people.

Whilst you’re dating, don’t forget to pray, read your bible, and put whoever you are dating in prayer because the devil may just send you one of his disciples disguised in everything that you want. Now chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.

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shattered

Hello, my lovelies, I hope you guys are all well. It has been such a long time, ok two weeks but it feels like forever. I had exams, two presentations and I still have two term papers to submit sooo, you can imagine how stressful the last few weeks have been. Let’s not forget the toddler who needs my undivided attention every day. But I am back now, and I hope it stays that way.

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Wait your turn

You know the saying that goes “patience is a virtue”, yes, a virtue that most of us lack. We often perceive waiting as a bad thing. Well, I am here to tell you that waiting is in fact a good thing. We are so quick to give up or get discouraged when things do not go our way. I do not know about you guys, but I tend to question God, “God why me?” You cannot even begin to imagine how many times I have gone on my knees, how many times I have laid in bed, holding my son tight, shaking, and questioning God, trying to seek answers. Desperately in need for him to say something. Even if it is just a reassurance that everything will eventually make sense. But hey God´s ways are not our ways right.  

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