“Nobody owes to anything”- I call BS on that. This useless mentality that you don’t owe nobody anything destroys a lot of good things.
Bare in my mind, this is just my opinion so if you do not agree, well opinions are like assholes, we all have them.
I believe that certain decisions come with baggage that you just must fulfill. Yes, to some extent, we all don’t owe anybody anything but how tragic would life be if we all lived by this mentality.
It is ok to expect certain things from certain people. The keyword here is “certain things from certain people”, please not from everybody because some people constantly disappoint. I call them career disappointers. Plus, there are certain things you just can’t expect from e.g. strangers or people who aren’t really close to you.
If someone decides its time for them to settle down, get married or whatever, your partner is allowed to expect things from you and you my friend should be able to deliver at least the basic things. Like loyalty/faithfulness, trust, commitment, communication etc. These are certain things that automatically come with the decision of wanting to settle down with one person and have a committed relationship.
If someone decides to keep a child and raise, you as a parent owe that child everything it needs to grow until the child gets to a certain age where he/she can fend for themselves. Its doesn’t always go without saying that things are going to be easy but the least you can do is try and do your best.
You owe any kind of relationship, that’s important to you, nurturing. You owe it to your friends to be there for them. Your friends should expect you to be there for them because if that relationship is not serving its purpose, then what’s the point?
Every relationship is a give and take. In a fair world, what you put in, is what you get out.
However, know the people you are expecting things from. I have certain that I’ve stopped calling when I need something urgently. Yes, I get disappointed when I feel the need to talk or share something heavy and I call and they don’t pick (especially because these are people who always have their phones in their hands and always like stuff on Instagram in 0.2 seconds but whenever I call, they coincidentally never pick) and that’s ok, at least I have learnt to shift my expectations to somewhere else. I know exactly who I can call when I need something in 0.2 seconds.
Yes, it is true, you get disappointed when you expect things from people. And its ok for people to disappoint. We are human beings after all. Sometimes we need time to ourselves but when they constantly disappoint you in a certain department then maybe its time to shift focus or address the issue, if it hasn’t been addressed before?
Point is, a healthy amount of expectation is ok to have in any form of relationship. Just don’t expect (too much) from the wrong people. Now, chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.
One day at a time 