“There’s always something with you”

Let me break it down for you. I am a young woman who is navigating parenthood with a non existent co parent.

I am a young woman who has chosen not to give up on her career despite the mess she put herself in.

I am a young woman who’s every tiny decision affects another humans life.

I am the first born daughter to both my African parents.

I am a young woman who has had to bear a lot of those financial and emotional responsibilities since I could remember.

I am a young woman who’s always been reminded of those responsibilities since I’ve developed my first memories.

I am a young woman who’s made her mistakes and has had to bear the consequences alone.

I am a young woman who’s been sexually assaulted by people she called “uncle”

I am a young woman who lays in bed at night wondering what’s next to come.

I am a young woman who somehow can’t have it all because even when something good is happening, I’m always thinking of how to navigate the down sides of the so called positive thing.

I am a young woman who mostly goes through things alone.

I am a young woman who barely has time for herself.

I am a young woman who always has something coming.

I am a young woman who has to make her own decisions at all times.

I am a young woman who has to lay in whatever bed she makes because there’s no savior out there.

I know I’m not smiling. I know I’m not speaking much. No I am not unhappy or sad. I’m probably just scanning through a series of things that are waiting for me to complete. I’m probably craving for someone to take some of the burden off my shoulders.

I am very content and happy because I know where I was and where I am. The progress is wild. Even when I don’t look the part, I am filled with gratitude.

I am not the person you should go to if you need my face to mirror my emotions. You’ll just get confused. This face remains straight. And yes there’s probably always something that I have to sort out. Again just because my happiness doesn’t manifest in a way that people understand, don’t mean I’m unhappy. Since people love to dictate other people according to their own personal lenses……

Please if you feel like once more there’s something with me, you should just ask for my PayPal or bank details…..