Hi my lovelies, I hope you all are having an amazing weekend wherever you are.
This post is short and sweet, as the overthinker that I am, and considering what ive been through in life, I don’t believe anybody. I am, unfortunately not the type of person who sees the best in people, I actually expect the worst from the onset and its actually surprising when people show that they are good.
However I am also a hopeless romantic. Contradictive right? Now imagine how my love life would look like……. I promise I am working on my trust issues, because believe I have lots of them (for proven reasons tho!)
Its easy to talk about red flags right, I for one belong to the school of thought that men are trash (but so are women) but these past few weeks I’ve been feeling very lovey dovey. I watch couples post their romantic videos and I enjoy the moment for them and hope it’s the same behind the lenses
So today, lets talk green flags!
DISCLAIMER: This post only concerns good women who match their men’s energy. All of you who only give your men boxers and singlet, please do me a favor, go and work on yourself and spoil that man sis. He deserves it.
Green flag 1: When he’s kind. When he treats people, especially those who don’t serve him, with pure respect and kindness. Huge!
2. When he’s thoughtful. Different people exhibit these qualities differently so there’s no manual for these things right but imagine a man being like I was listening to this song and thought of you and actually sends it, that’s a love language on its own. When hes out and about or can’t come to the phone, you get that little hey I’m just busy right now, ill call you later, instead of just ignoring you till he feels ready to speak…. When he checks up on you when hes out with his friends, you get that little hey mama how you doing, how’s your day going…. Listen, I could go on and on
3. When he’s proactive…. To me this is also a love language on its own. I saw this needed to be built, I can be of help, I knew you were arriving at this time so I made food, or I ordered food.
When he plans the date without waiting for you hint that he hasn’t taken you out in a hot minute?
When he’s proactive about developing your relationship, whether it’s starting the conversation first about something he didn’t appreciate or booking a trip, or just little things like letting you know when his plans have changed without you coming across as a nag because he understands that it’s the little, meaningless things that actually matter.
4. When he listens and implements (to the best of his abilities). This right here. Effort is so sexy. Effort is so romantic and most times it’s the thought that really counts. Imagine you mentioning something in a casual conversation, and he goes ahead and plans whatever you wanted. It could be as little as doing things around the house or you wanting to be treated a certain way or you expressing discomfort about something. It could be anything, but he listened and he didn’t wait for you to nag about it because that’s what men describe as nagging, when they have to hear the same thing over and over again. You could just want something to change but all they hear is criticism. But don’t we all want our romantic relationships to work?
Aren’t we both responsible for fixing it and making sure we both feel prioritized in each other’s lives? And once again, it could be the smallest things but what’s small to one person may be a big deal to the other person.
Another important aspect in this is when a person recognizes your silence and listens. Silence sometimes speaks volume. Don’t always assume the other person is angry or giving an attitude. Most times, in my case, baby one text saying Mama what’s wrong, I’ll probably start crying because I may just be exhausted by everything. An “I love you” text would probably make me blush from ear to ear and when you really don’t know the way forward, just ask what the problem is and what you can do to make your person feel better. Active listening is a necessity for a healthy long-term relationship.
5 When he’s empathetic. A man who has the ability to recognize when you feel a certain type of way, he may not necessarily identify with those emotions, but when he has the ability to recognize when you need love and actually gives you some reassurance AAAAAH Attractive AF
When he shows compassion in situations like that and makes you feel validated…MY GOD.
As usual, I am a woman so I speak on what women may need. However, if your man is doing all these things SIS you better treat that man like the king that he is. Contrary to what men believe, women are submissive by nature (my opinion!) but a woman can only tap into her feminine side when she feels secure and safe in her relationship.
What one woman needs may not be what the next woman needs but trust me when I say, when a man makes a woman feel secure, watch your relationship flourish like never before.
When we talk about men being providers and protectors, we always refer to financial security and if he can fight.
But are you providing her with emotional security?
Are you providing reassurance once in a while?
Do you make her feel safe to love you?
I am naturally an overthinker, but I have never overthought a situation if I didn’t have reasons to. So, are your actions protecting her from that?
A woman was created to be loved, are you loving her the right way? Because if you are then watch her give you all the respect and love that you need and more.
Its so many green flags to go through but for now chin up and read Isaiah 41:10. ooh and I lied, I thought it would be short and sweet but i got carried away.
One day at a time 