Motherhood

Now I promise you this is not how I intended to start off this blog but hey it is how I am feeling so just bear with me. But let us discuss motherhood and its struggles. I am tired. Yep, I said it T-I-R-E-D. Now do not get me wrong. Motherhood is a blessing that I would not trade for anything else, but it gets to a point where you are just tired. Exhausted is more like it. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I am not tired because I did a lot of things today (which I did by the way), I am tired because of everything else life has thrown at me back-to-back without really catching a break. Imagine this, first time mum with little support, I have had to hold it down for the longest. Do not misunderstand me, I have a few good friends who support whenever and wherever they can, but everyone got their own lives and their own struggles, so at the end of the day you and God are all you got.

My son is sleeping, and I just listened to him take his breaths for like 5 minutes. For those 5 minutes I paused to take it in. I do this a lot and each time it takes me back to the year he was born and the months that led up to his birth. I take in, the challenges, my fears, my insecurities, things I might be ashamed of, the disappointments, I take in everything. Where I was, where I am and where I want to be in life and how everything that happened has led me to this very moment, on my table, in my little apartment. A lot of times these moments leads to tears. Tears that contain a lot of emotions. However, today I choose to be positive and give myself a tap at the back because I have survived everything life has thrown at me. I might need a minute, a day to gather myself, I sometimes sit down on the toilet and let it out but here I am, still standing and showing up.

To every parent out there, single mums/ dads who show up for their kids no matter what, your kid appreciates you, your kid loves you and you are doing great. Be kind to yourself. Like me, it might be a tough time, you may not have it all figured out and you may be scared but know that you are doing great. You are exactly what your kid needs. Kids don’t need perfect parents, they need parents who show up and that’s what you’re doing. Now Chin up and read Isaiah 41:10.